I have decided to not go to the Capdown gig at all tonight, I have given it lots of thought over the last week and decided to stick to my guns and abstain from attending on the principle that if my main reviewer isn’t allowed on the guestlist, neither should I! Besides I am not feeling too great within myself, been struggling to stay awake all day, got a chronic case of insomnia last night, only managing two hours sleep before having to get up to visit my dad. I am seriously thinking of throwing in the towel on Phoenix Live as I am feeling more and more like it’s a chore than something I enjoy doing, so I may do some canvassing to see if someone else wants to take over full time running of the site, as I really don’t feel like doing anything after a day of work, and the fact that it’s a fair walk to and from the Phoenix each time, puts me off going to gigs even more. Suppose it’s a case of “been there, done that”, having been to over 100 gigs in the last 18 months at the Phoenix, not to mention the cost, both monetary and physically, I have given up a lot of my time and energy to dedicate to Phoenix Live and I feel that I need to do some other stuff now, as I said that “if I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t continue” but it’s the community that has built up around Phoenix Live that has kept me going, so its more a feeling of duty than actually enjoying it like I did in the beginning. Anyway, I am going to have to give it some thought about the future of Phoenix Live over the coming weeks, I would rather have someone take over the site than let it die, but if no-one wants to take control, it’s inevitable that it will eventually fade away, I simply can’t continue doing this when my heart isn’t in it!
