Realisations and Decisions

Due to a lot of things that happened yesterday I have realised some things and come to a decision about things in my life. Firstly I managed to upset an acquaintance of mine by making a joke, which he took offence at, thinking that I was calling him a paedophile, which wasn’t the case. OK I could have worded it better, but its done now, I have sent a text message apologising for what I said and he has accepted my apology, so everything is fine again there, but I shouldn’t have said anything really! Then I managed to get into an argument with the promoter for C103 over use of the lighting rig, but what pissed me off is the way he spoke down to me. Especially as I had previously worked with the guy, he seems to think that he’s something special now he is working in a nightclub and being paid loads of money! I won’t be spoken to like that! The result was that he asked me to leave, which I did, storming out, fuming, and the 15 minute walk home didn’t calm me down either. I was going to write this entry last night, but went straight to bed instead as ranting while under the influence wouldn’t have made any sense in the morning. The net result of all this is that I am probably banned from C103 again, but that doesn’t bother me in the slightest as going back there in the first place was a big mistake, as I haven’t been happy since starting to go to C103 again! I decided last night that I never want to enter that club again as long as I live, and I have also decided to stop drinking completely, it’s costing too much money and I don’t like the person I become when I drink. I tend to become too uninhibited and say what I think without thinking, which isn’t good as my mind is unstable at best. I am even considering given up on sound engineering and withdrawing from public life starting after the last gig I am rostered on for on the 30th of December. I am not enjoying life at all these days, getting pissed off very easily, and going off the rails. I do need to withdraw from everything for while, get my head together as I cant go on feeling like this all the time, it’s gotten to the point where I have thought of ending my life to stop this unsettled feeling, but that’s the cowards way out, I may be a lot of things, but a coward I am not!

Anyway enough of the depressing stuff, onto some positive news, and its football, Plymouth Argyle have managed a rare feat, managing to win a game at Home Park against high flying promotion chasing Crystal Palace. The margin was two goals to nil, with Argyle managing something even rarer, a clean sheet. Plymouth opened the scoring almost immediately scoring in the first minute of the game courtesy of the ever present Luke Chadwick, which rocked the visitors. Andrew Johnson almost equalised for Palace, but was denied by the post, which spurred the visitors on to play much better in the second half of the game. But Tony Capaldi killed off any hope that Palace had of getting something from the game when he put the Pilgrims 2 – 0 up in the 90th minute of the game. So all in all a much better performance from the team, hopefully we can get on a roll now and win a few consecutive games to improve our position in the league. This win doesn’t improve Argyle’s position in the league table, but we are now within striking distance of 13th position, two more wins could see Argyle move up the table rapidly, depending on other results of course!

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