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I really need to get some control!

Last night I went out again, got so bored sat around at home, I decided to go to the pub, of course I didn’t want to go alone, so I phoned a friend and even lent that friend money to go out, so that was £40 (£20 for myself, £20 for my friend), then afterwards I went onto Voodoo Lounge and drew out another £40. I really need to get a grip on my drinking, need something else to occupy my mind, as my current humdrum life leads me to the pub far too often and pissing money up against the wall (so to speak). I really do wish that I was stronger and able to resist the temptation to go out drinking, its not good, especially when I am blowing over £100 per week on the addiction, I am starting to wonder whether I have got a drinking problem, because I never used to drink this much before. The whole drinking too much began when I started working at the Phoenix, with the easy availability of alcohol, I started drinking nearly every night, and now I stay away from the Phoenix more I still get the urge to go out and get hammered, as I don’t seem to have the ability to moderate my drinking. The problem is that most of my friends’ lives revolve around the pub, so inevitably I always end up meeting them in pubs and clubs. I used to stay home and not drink at all back in 2001, I was happy playing computer games, watching TV and listening to music, but it seems that isn’t enough to stimulate me anymore! The only reason I can think of for my constant drinking is that I am deeply unhappy with my life, I am not at all where I wanted to be at this stage in my life, drinking is an escape for me, helps me forget how unhappy I am in life, and I don’t know a way out of it at this time!

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