Moving into this house has been the biggest mistake of my life, things starting off well, but things have deteriorated dramatically over the last couple of weeks. I can’t live like this anymore, more shit has happened over this weekend, which I don’t want to go into on here, but it has left me feeling at an all time low and really can’t see a solution other than to find alternative accommodation. I am not putting the blame squarely on the other guys, it’s partially my fault as well, maybe we are not people that can share a house. I’m the sort of person that likes to do what I want, when I want, and not have to take what other people want to do into consideration, I have lived on my own for too long now, and I don’t know what made me think I could co-exist with other people, I need my own space, and by that I don’t mean my own room, sometimes I just want to lock myself away from everyone for days on end at times, depending on how I am feeling. I don’t like feeling like this; my thoughts briefly turned to suicide, although I know I wouldn’t actually do it, but it shows how low I feel to even consider it! Even the people I work with noticed the difference and each of the three supervisors tried to get me to talk about it, but I don’t want to bring outsiders into the equation. I don’t even have anyone to talk about it now; my world has slowly been falling apart over the past three years, feeling more and more isolated, and my confidence in myself has almost disappeared; there’s only so many knocks a man can take, and at this point I don’t know a way out! But one thing I am sure of; it’s best for everyone concerned that I move out into my own flat; it’ll cost me more overall, but I cant go on feeling like this; especially over the situation that arose on Friday night; Saturday morning. Maybe a fresh start somewhere else, get out of Plymouth altogether is what is needed, as my life here has gone in a seriously downhill spiral, maybe some of it is my fault, but everything is getting on top of me lately leaving me feeling like there isn’t much point in going on! Maybe my problem is that I am too nice, trying to help people out, and people take advantage of that generosity, leaving me feeling bitter and angry, hitting out at the world! I could drivel on for hours about this; but I don’t know how to really put how I am feeling into words, so I shall leave it there for now, and maybe come back to it later!