No, I don’t mean St. Patrick’s day, I mean the Formula One circus starts it’s world tour today and it’s looking like it could be an interesting first race. Kimi Raikkonen starts from pole position in his debut drive for Ferrari, totally outclassing every one else on the track beating nearest rival Fernando Alonso by almost 0.4 seconds. That may not sound like much, but it Formula One terms, that’s a country mile; I just hope that it’s not a sign of things to come, I’d rather not see a Ferrari whitewash again! BMW have lived up to pre season promise qualifying in 3rd and 5th being split by Lewis Hamilton in his debut drive in F1 for McLaren. World champions Renault could only manage a lowly 6th on the grid with Giancarlo Fisichella and rookie Heikki Kovalainen could only manage 13th. Not a good session for the Brits either, apart from Lewis Hamilton, all the other Brits qualified outside of the top 10. Anthony Davidson did the best of the rest of the Brits qualifying in 11th in his Super Aguri, Jenson Button qualified in 14th and David Coulthard could only manage 19th. Honda can’t be happy their own factory team is being outpaced by their ‘B’ team Super Aguri, both Super Aguri’s out qualified their more illustrious parent team with Takuma Sata putting his Super Aguri just inside the top 10, an impressive performance! I will be staying in this St Paddy’s day as I want to watch the GP which is being broadcast at 2am in the morning and I’d like to be sober to watch it, something that I wasn’t last night!
I only went out to explain to Steve and Kelly about my decision about Wednesday nights, and somehow I managed to find my way through to JFK’s via Voodoo Lounge and Goodies (I don’t even want to talk about it). When I first told Kelly she seemed to accept it, but later when she was more drunk, she wouldn’t let me go, kept hugging me trying to talk me out of leaving. I feel a little guilty deserting the night, but I need to do this; I can’t let me feelings overrule my needs to move on, do stuff that I actually get paid for. It’s so hard to fight my nature to be a nice guy, but I need to do it for my own sanity, none of the other engineers in Plymouth would do a gig for free, so why should I be any different? I think not!!!
Me and Lindsey seem to be getting on a lot better, If I am truthful I would have her back in a second, but it’s not an easy thing to do after what happened, my feelings towards her aren’t going away, no matter how much I try to kid myself that I am over her. I have been talking with Laura some more over the last couple of days, and she has agreed to go out for a drink with me, I suggested after I get stable in a new home, everything is up in the air at the moment. I know it’s going to be no more than friendship, I don’t feel any sort of spark for her, she’s an attractive girl, but not really my type, plus I am still hung up on Lindsey, so it would be counter-productive to pursue a relationship with someone knowing that I am in love with someone else, it wouldn’t be fair on either of us, but new friends are always good!
Although the Lindsey situation didn’t work out as well as I had hoped, it’s made me more confident within myself, made me realise that woman do find me desirable, so I come across more confident and I can talk to woman more easily, I feel more relaxed about it now, I always felt I was under pressure to say the right things all the time and as a knock on effect I am not being myself. I have a good personality, I can make people laugh and have a very easy going nature, most people can get along with me; I don’t take life too seriously, I’m always willing to make fun of myself, I don’t need to pretend to be something I am not!