As much as I don’t want it to be this way, I have come to some realisations about myself and Lindsey’s aspirations to be together. I know that we can’t go on blindly thinking that it’s going to be definite that we can meet and hit it off. I would love it to happen, but in reality, it probably wont sadly, so we both need to get on with our lives the best we can. Lindsey told me she went on a date last weekend, which initially hurt, but I know that she’d feel the same if I went out on a date. It’s hard to let go, but we need to be able to do it for both our sakes, it’s not healthy to carry on like this. Obviously I still have hope that sometime in the future it will work out somehow, somewhere, maybe we are destined to be together, who knows? But her being in my life has awoken something in me that has been dormant for many years, I am a much more confident person within myself, I just need to get back to being happy again to exploit my new found confidence, I also know that whenever I go out on a date I will be comparing my date with Lindsey because she has become the benchmark for me, she is my ideal woman, it’s just so annoying that fate put us 5177 miles apart! I’m not dwelling on things I honestly do want Lindsey to be happy and if that is with someone else then that’s cool, in a way it will give me closure and allow me to move on because while Lindsey is still single I will be pushing other woman away because I still want Lindsey!