I think I am developing a drinking problem, I have reverted back to the way I was before meeting Lindsey. I don’t seem to be able to walk away after I finish work, I always stick around for some after work drinks, which is very bad. I started on the triple vodka and cokes again plus several rounds of tequila slammers, and I blew the £50 that I earned on the night! I find myself drinking while working as well, something I know that I shouldn’t do, it’s completely unprofessional and I really hate myself for doing it. I found myself in Goodbodies at 6am eating breakfast, I intended to carry on drinking in the downstairs bar, but I had a moment of clarity when I saw a taxi and decided to go home. I was supposed to go to my dads for Sunday roast today, but never even managed that, I just ignored the alarm and went back to sleep! I know that I am not an alcoholic, I realise that I have a problem, and I want to stop drinking, but it’s hard to resist the temptation to escape reality for a while. I really do want to still talk with Lindsey, I always loved talking with her, but at the same time it kills me talking to her knowing that we can never be anything more than friends, but I know I need to try to move past this, I don’t want to lose her as a friend! The really stupid thing is that I wanted to get back to a normal sleeping pattern and I forced myself to stay awake for more than 24 hours when I finished work, I should have just gone home, maybe it’s my subconscious wanting to be on US time to talk with Lindsey!
Hopefully I will have something to be happy about in three hours, Plymouth Argyle are taking on Watford at Home Park tonight. It was the best possible draw that Argyle could have got, firstly getting a home tie and secondly drawing the next lowest ranked club remaining in the cup, Watford are really struggling this season and looking a likely candidate for relegation to the Championship, so the Green Army have a great chance of winning today in front of 21,000 fans, the vast majority of them wearing green as Ollie has asked them to do to show their support, even I am wearing my Argyle shirt!