I’m going to use a technical term now: FUCK!

After my completely idiotic behaviour on Wednesday night, it’s all documented below, Lindsey is avoiding me like the plague and I can’t say that I blame her. But that’s the least of my problems, because of my ridiculous drinking issues and buying takeaways all the time I now find myself in deep financial shit this month. I have one of three options, [Option 1] I could try to explain to the landlord that I am a little short this month, it’ll only be £20 short, but I’d rather not do that as it’s only my second payment. [Option 2] is to put off paying BT for a week, but again it’s the first bill, it’s not good to be late on the first payment, so I’d rather not do that either. [Option 3] would be to go without food for a week, which obviously isn’t a good option for my health. So I need to choose the lesser of the three evils, the rent needs to be paid, that’s a no brainer, so it’s between eating or paying BT. Everything would be OK if this Saturday coming was a guaranteed work day as it’s a private gig and would pay me £50, but I heard talk of them having their own engineer, although they should still have to pay the house engineer to supervise and setup, neither myself or Phil like the idea of them using the rig without supervision, but that’s beside the point, I need the money at the end of the day. I am well aware that it’s all my own fault blowing well over £200+ on booze this month, and now I am stressed as hell worrying about being able to make all the bills this month now, BT need to be paid by the 26th, the rent needs to be paid on the 1st. I could go to my dad for help, but I don’t want to do that, he’s done enough to help me out in the past, I owe him so much already financially, maybe it’s time to get a sensible day job again, have a stable income coming in and give up on sound engineering, I know I’ll hate it, but I can’t keep on living on the edge like this month after month, I already owe Stephen £30 plus the rent shortfall from when we lived at Station Road. Looking at my bank statements, I haven’t been in the black since September last year, I seriously need to sort my life out. The first thing I need to do is put all my wages into my bank account the day after I get paid to remove the temptation to spend on it booze and takeaways, I have no excuses now, it’s a 10 minute walk to my branch in town. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

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