So close, but yet so far!

England failed in their attempt to beat joint favourites Sri Lanka in the cricket world cup, but it turned out to be an incredibly close game with Sri Lanka beating England by two runs. I have to say when I saw that England had six wickets down with more than 100 runs to win, I didn’t give them a chance in hell when I had to leave for work! But I have to give credit to Ravi Bopara and Paul Nixon who almost steered England to victory adding a combined 94 runs to the total. Ultimately it was time that beat England falling just two runs short at the end of their 50 overs. Downsides were Michael Vaughan’s duck and Ian Bell’s silly run out, not getting his bat down on the ground quick enough falling just short of a one day fifty. Ultimately it was Vaughan, Joyce, Collingwood and Flintoff’s failure to do much that lost England the game, the top order batsmen can’t seriously expect the lower order batsmen to get them out of trouble even if Bopara and Nixon almost made it happen for England, it’s good to have lower order batsmen that can make 40 – 50 runs but it’s not guaranteed!

Alternation went OK again last night, 67 paying customers plus a couple of freebees, so it’s all good, slightly down on last week, but the bar did well. I am happy with the way the night is progressing, it’s building up slowly but surely, we have about 50 regulars plus other random people, but each week I see more and more familiar faces, which is good, it shows that people must be enjoying the night so they come back and some bring a couple of friends. I also bumped into two of my housemates there as well, Jason and Laura, which explains why I knew Jason’s face when I moved in, I just couldn’t put my finger on it; and he was the same when we officially met the first time, I guess if you see faces everywhere, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where you know them from. I have to say there was a couple of notable absences from the night, there is a group of about 7/8 people that come in all the time that failed to come in, which would explain being down a few people, but it’s all good!

Why oh why do I have to feel this way? yes it’s more about my relationship with Lindsey. I want to be able to move on with my life, but I can’t, I am constantly thinking about Lindsey, even more so now that she has finally broken off the relationship with the other guy because of a lack of interest on his part. I think he’s completely mad, I would be the happiest man in the world if Lindsey could be mine, but I guess that’ll never happen logistically and emotionally as she doesn’t feel as strongly for me as I do for her, and I don’t think she ever could while she has feelings for this other guy! So in a way we are both fucked, I can’t commit to someone else because of my feelings for Lindsey and she won’t be able to commit to me or anyone else for the same reasons. Part of me wishes I never met her, then I wouldn’t feel this way, but at the same time I am happy that I have met her because she has enriched my life so much in the short time I have known her. Even when we talk online now, it’s not the same, conversation doesn’t flow as easily, there is always an edge to our conversations, and those little things like playing games on Yahoo and laughing over silly little things, all that has gone. I miss that more than anything else, the whole x-rated photos/videos was nice but I miss us just spending all of our time together and making each other happy, I now know she couldn’t feel truly happy given the situation!

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