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If I am honest!

Tonight I went into work because I didn’t want to associate with the people in this house where I live because I thought I wouldn’t fit in, but at least one of the guys I think I could get along with reasonably well and also with his girlfriend, who requested I bring down my iPod with some rock on. We have found some common ground including the liking of some rock and metal groups and both liking to play computer games, so we can have a one on one gaming session at some point. I guess I let my own prejudices get in the way, they aren’t so bad after all, but two of the girls are leaving after a couple of weeks, I didn’t even really get to know them, between work, sleep, drinking and feeling sorry for myself. Which brings us to the real point, I miss Ali like hell, I have tried to get over her, but it’s not happening, I feel as strongly as I ever did for her, but I hate that she doesn’t feel the same, or maybe she does, but is just scared to commit after her previous experiences with me. I am not going to go into her experiences, she told me in confidence, so that will stay private between me and her, no matter what happens in the future. I don’t mind admitting that I have been fighting back the tears for the last half hour because I can’t be with Ali. I just feel like I want to jump on a train to Manchester to be with her, but if she won’t admit her feelings for me, then it’s completely pointless, but that’s why I can’t move on while I still have these feelings, so the person who my last post was referring to can rest easy, I guess I can explain everything to her when we meet on Tuesday, she may even read this blog, it’s seems everyone else does!

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