More than I do today, I just got a phone call from Erin telling me that her stepfather had died. I want to be with her so much to support her and just hold her to make her feel a little better if that’s possible. She was supposed to be going out with her work colleagues tonight for their works Christmas party and I really wanted her to go out and have a good time. But that has been ruined now because of this happening, Erin will be spending her night with her mother instead, which I want her to do. Erin really needs to be with her mother at this time. But I feel so helpless; I want to be there to comfort her as she was really upset and wanted me there sooner. I want to be there as soon as humanly possible, life is getting harder by the day to be away from her and this makes us realise just how short life is. I was planning to go out to JFK’s tonight as Erin was going out for her works Christmas party, but now I don’t think I should as I should be here just in case she calls; even if it’s just so she can hear my voice! This really couldn’t have happened at a worse time, four days before Christmas. I really don’t want to imagine losing a loved one at Christmas, there really isn’t a more devastating time to lose someone than at this time of year when families should be together!