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I see only one option!

I need to fly to America to meet Erin to find out whether we are destined to be together or not! I simply can’t let her go because I do love her so much. At the same time I want and need somebody here to be able to come home to every night. Even if I do pursue my relationship with Erin, it’ll only be maybe 4 – 6 weeks together every year because I am not willing to move to the US, I’d hate it there and it’d tear us apart eventually. Erin says she wants to move to the UK within 2 years which would be wonderful but I am not counting on that. I have been alone for so long now, Ali doesn’t really count as she clearly wasn’t really interested in me as a person, she just wanted sex. With the exception of Ali I have spent the last 5 years alone and it’s getting tougher by the day which is why I started contacting people on myspace to see if I could find love in the local areal and I could well have found that with Anita but she isn’t willing to accept being second best and it’s right that she shouldn’t. She wants a man that wants her as his #1 choice and never wavers from that stance, which is fair; I wouldn’t want to feel like I’m being settled for. So that leaves the only logical option, paying a visit to Kansas to meet Erin and see how we really feel about each other in person; even if things don’t go as expected at least we can have some closure allowing us to move on past this. By that time Anita may not even be an option anymore but it wouldn’t be fair on her if I was to pursue a relationship with her while still having these intense feelings for Erin. Erin says she will pay for my ticket to come over for a week in a couple of months. If things go well then maybe my original plan of going over for three weeks over Christmas and New Years will become a reality; I really hope it works out that way! No-one has made me feel such intense emotions like Erin has, so I think I owe it to myself (and Erin) to at least make the trip to meet her in person; we simply can’t move on!

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