It has to come to an end!

The pattern of my (non)relationship with Erin continued last night. We always end up arguing over petty things that don’t really matter. I think it’s too difficult to maintain any sort of relationship with such great distances involved. So I think that it’s best that we part ways and move on as even if we meet and get on well it’ll still be a strain on our relationship because we will be apart for months on end. If Erin follows her dream of living and working in the UK and we both find ourselves single still then maybe something can come of it. But for now I think that it’s a bad idea for us to stay in contact especially as she wants a non-exclusive relationship which is going to be a problem as I am going to be jealous of her seeing other men and she is going to be jealous of me seeing other women. That is so destructive to both of us, I need someone that’s actually here, someone to hold. It’s been more than 12 months since I have been touched in more than a friendship way. I just want to be able to sleep with someone, to cuddle in bed and feel happy and content. I’m not even talking about sex, that’s secondary for me, obviously its nice but it’s not the be all and end all for me. I’m really confused about Anita, she said she wouldn’t want to meet me if she wasn’t interested but from her messages I get the impression that she has been hurt so badly in the past that she wont let anyone get close enough to get into a relationship. Maybe I should avoid getting into a relationship with anyone for at least a year to give myself time to heal. Make that trip up to Iceland to see Tomas and Kolla. I need to get myself together before embarking on another relationship, three failed relationships in two years isn’t good!

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