I have been talking on instant messenger with a woman called Anita from Newquay. I sent her a message on myspace last night and she almost immediately replied. We sent a whole bunch of messages to and fro on myspace last night and have been talking for a couple of hours today on messenger. She seems like a nice enough woman and we seem to have a lot of common traits. I’m not looking at this as romantic interest but I plan to go meet her reasonably soon, maybe even this week, it’s only £7.50 return on the train. If nothing else it’d be good to get out of Plymouth and meet someone new. I have enjoyed talking with her yesterday and today and we seem to get on pretty well even if she is a Gooner (that’s Arsenal for the uninitiated). I have sent a lot of messages to people around the South West and only one other replied and she seems to be online very infrequently. But Anita seems like a nice person to be around, so that’s a start, there isn’t any reason why I can’t go down and meet with her regularly, have a chat, a couple of drinks and maybe more, we’ll see what happens, but I’m not expecting anything to happen and I wouldn’t want anything to happen while I still have these feelings for Erin. I’m still want to try to salvage my relationship with Erin but she still has doubts and to be honest I am having doubts over whether I can provide her with want she really wants. I guess only time will tell on that one, but it feels good to be making new friends, people that I can really talk to and be myself around.
The time is now 12:48am and…
I have just finished talking to Anita on messenger and I have thoroughly enjoyed talking with her tonight. I also got a call from Erin saying that she will be hanging out with her friend tonight so won’t be online, which is absolutely fine. These two things have made me re-evaluate my options, I really like Anita and would like to get to know her a whole lot better. Erin wants physical company which I can’t provide and realistically would I be willing to actually move to the US? If I look deep in my heart, the answer is NO! I would be miserable there, I would have to take a job I would hate and I would feel completely out of place. I don’t think that Erin would want me to be there if it made me that unhappy. I do love Erin but moving away from everything I know is too big sacrifice for me, I have worked hard to get where I am professionally and don’t want to give that up. I really wish that Erin was in the UK, but ultimately she isn’t and I have to be realistic, I realise now that I was kidding myself about moving to the US, Erin is almost a big enough incentive but not quite. I just hope that Erin can understand as I still want to talk when we can, I enjoy our conversations and would rather not lose that. I’m not saying that anything will happen between me and Anita, I would be happy with friendship, just hang out together. But who knows what the future holds, I like her a lot and I think that she likes me too to talk to me for six hours straight. Now it’s just the meeting which I have made clear that I want to happen sooner rather than later. Anita is no Erin but she has most of the things I look for in a woman and she is only 40 miles away as opposed to 4399 miles, that’s a massive difference.