As I mentioned yesterday I have been thinking a lot about Erin. Infact she has been dominating my thoughts and I gave in and sent her a text and basically got a message back saying she never wanted to speak to me again. I will respect her wishes, I have deleted all her contact details, Skype history and even destroyed my mobile phone bills for the past nine months so I have no chance of regaining her number unless she contacts me. If she has deleted my numbers as well then that’s it, we’ll never be in contact again. What it all is about is something that I said I would like her to do for me in the bedroom department and she said that she wouldn’t do it despite me being willing to do things I wasn’t comfortable with. I was still angry with her jumping in bed with Jermaine almost as soon as we broke up and her subsequent telling me she doesn’t want me coming over. Basically I said that if she wasn’t willing to at least try it then I would have to find someone else who would do it for me and she hung up on me and we haven’t talked since. It was a stupid thing to say but I was a little drunk and tired and obviously her sleeping with Jermaine was still playing on my mind. But as much as her text tonight basically telling me to fuck off felt like a knife through my heart; maybe its for the best! I will miss our conversations, I have never been able to have conversations like that with anyone before and I doubt that I ever will again! But I can never move on while she is still on the scene as I am in love with her and she’ll always have a place in my heart but hopefully that place will be pushed further back allowing me to truly love again some day. I really wish that we didn’t get romantically involved now as I am missing her voice, her conversation more than I could ever express on this here ‘blog!
In other news, I managed to stay sober tonight and Spain won the Euro tournament beating Germany 1 – 0. Liverpool’s Fernando Torres scored the only goal of the match which at least gave me some satisfaction even if I was supporting the arch enemy Germany as I had tipped Germany to win before the tournament! Maybe I should support the team I want to lose!