I have decided to stop talking to Anita for the time being as I simply can’t talk to her, I feel like I am constantly talking at her, not with her. She doesn’t want to know anything about my past and refuses point blank to divulge anything about her past. The most I can get out of her is “I have made lots of mistakes and don’t want to talk about them” – Now am I to assume that her whole life has been a mistake? I don’t see how we can move forward while she refuses to meet with me because she wants to get to know me better online first. Which is fine but if she isn’t willing to talk about her past or interested in my past, what do we have to talk about? We can’t have any experiences together because she won’t agree to meet me. I think Anita has bigger problems than I can help her with; every time I try to talk reason to her she shuts down completely and assumes that I am having a go at her. Whatever these bad things are; they have seriously fucked her up because I really don’t see any glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel with her. So I am going to leave her to think about what she wants; I told her to contact me when she feels she is ready to talk properly. I do like Anita but the way she is right now isn’t conducive to meeting new friends, only she can help herself with that. Maybe it’s my destiny to be alone? maybe I drove away Erin, my perfect woman because of my inaction, I genuinely can not see myself finding anyone this side of the Atlantic, I have women almost queuing up to be in a relationship with me state side. And I would bet that one woman in particular would make me very happy, her name is Jill and she was the first state side friend I made. The other woman, Kelly wouldn’t be such a great idea because of a clash of faith, she’s a Christian and I’m an Atheist, but she has been a wonderful friend to me over the past 18 months. I decided when I broke up with Erin that I would be taking a year out to try to rediscover the real me before embarking on a new relationship but I don’t even seem to be able to make new friends. I have sent huge numbers of messages to various people around my area and only one replied and that was Anita.