Lifestyle Change!

I think that my life needs a major lifestyle change as too many years of late nights and excessive drinking have taken it’s toll on my body and mind. I didn’t enjoy Wednesday night at work at all, infact I found myself wanting to go home by midnight. I was determined to stay sober and all the people around me were encouraging me to drink offering to buy me drinks every 10 minutes. I get labelled as alternative because I happen to like rock and metal music, but when I look around I don’t see that I have anything in common with them including my new house mate. I tend not to really interact with them that much because there always seems to be this one-up-man-ship over each other. For example every time I get up my house mate has a friend around and the first words that come out of his mouth are “Jason smells” usually followed up by his friend saying “you smell you hippy bastard”. I don’t even grace that with a reply, what the hell is this; PLAYSCHOOL? I have yet to meet anyone from the alternative community that interests me in anyway. I can’t see me having an in-depth conversation with any of these people. I don’t fit in with this scene and I need to get out of it before I descend into the depths of depression which is where I am heading at the moment! I took the night off work tonight because I didn’t fancy it after going out drinking against my better judgement last night, not that I got drunk I was more bored than anything as I stood there thinking “do I really want to talk to any of these people?”.

Tomorrow when I go to work I will be pushed into drinking again as the promoter wants me to drink as I work, which is not what I want to be doing. If I do go out for a drink then I want to have one or two and a chat with friend or a group of friends, not drink until I drop, or run out of money, whichever happens first. When I was younger I felt like part of the scene but it seems that I have moved on and they are all stuck in the same place (and same club) as they were five years ago. If I am to meet a partner and find happiness and all those other things I want I will need to sever ties with my current lifestyle and make a concerted effort to built up a lifestyle I like. When I was in Poland I really liked it because it was more the lifestyle I want. Doing things during the day like visiting Auschwitz and walking around the town square soaking up the atmosphere while having good conversation. Then in the evening pop out for a couple of beers and conversation with a group of friends. Then going home at a sensible time to get a descent nights sleep. I think that lifestyle is more conducive to finding love and happiness than working until 3am – 4am then not getting to sleep until 7am most mornings then losing the whole day sleeping. I am even considering not working at The Voodoo Lounge anymore. Well maybe just work on Friday’s as a sound tech assuming I can get a Monday to Friday day job. And with a little bit of luck I will make some new friends that will want to do something other than go to the pub and get drunk.

Another thing that bugged me this week is someone I considered a friend stabbing me in the back. He has been trying to conspire with others to overthrow me on Wednesday nights because I take all the money from the night. At the end of the day I am the one that acquires all the music and buys all the equipment to use on the night. With what I have spent on laptops, cables and other things over the last 18 months I haven’t even broken even yet. Now this same person relies on me to bring down my laptop so he has a wide range of music to play on Tuesday nights when he does the private international parties. I am very tempted to just not bother as I don’t get paid for it and switch off my phone, why should I help someone that is scheming against me. With friends like that, who needs enemies!

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