Last night I went out for a game of Pool with Stephen which was good, having a chat and hitting a few balls around with sticks. Then I went down to The Warehouse for the rock night and got talking to a woman called Jen, yes I was a attracted to her but I was just enjoying talking to her. After a while her boyfriend comes out and points out that she is his girlfriend so I tried to back off but Jen was almost following me around and after several trips to the bar. Suddenly she pounced on me and started kissing me. After the initial shock I started to reciprocate and suddenly we had our hands all over each other. Her boyfriend saw what happened and confronted me and I said if he doesn’t treat her better he would lose her and I wanted her. He had been treating her like shit all night, walking off leaving her in tears and thinking that she had nowhere to stay. I offered her to come back to my place obviously with aspirations of her spending the night in my bed. But in the end nothing came out of it she went home with her boyfriend’s brother as the brothers live together. I get a text later saying that he dumped her and was shouting at her. I was going to go pick her up and bring her back here but couldn’t get where she was out of her before the called dropped then I get a call from her boyfriend and after having a rant at me he passed me over to her and she just hung up straight away. It just feels like I was used, chewed up and spat out, it feels like she was using me to make her boyfriend jealous. I should be used to it but I will never get used to be treated that way. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I had actually gotten something out of it, but I didn’t which left me rather sexually frustrated after touching and being touched very intimately. I didn’t really see a long term future for us but it would have been nice for a couple of months as I miss having someone around to hold, kiss and more. I have had a number of sexual encounters over recent months but this is the first time that I actually liked a woman because I got a chance to talk to her for hours before any of this happened. I wasn’t going out of my way to be nice, I was just being me, talking and flirting with her.
I told Erin about my indiscretions as we have no secrets and we aren’t *officially* in a relationship right now. We are just biding our time until I can visit then decide where we go from there. I would dearly love to spend the rest of my life with Erin but she is so far away for the time being and I have physical needs and if something more happened then I would have to follow through with the local option(s). It’s not that I am not in love with Erin because I am, it’s more because of my need to be touched, talking with Erin is amazing but she can’t reach out and touch me. Which is one of the contributing factors of her sleeping with Jermaine and yes he turned out to be a cock as well just using Erin for his own needs and when he got what he wanted he suddenly turned into the stereotypical asshole guy and disappeared! It seems like we are the only two people in the world that actually want the same thing, for someone to actually stick around and love us completely and unreservedly.