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ARGH! I’m Taking Control Of This Situation

Money Down The Drain

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my wife’s spending habits, causing me significant stress, spending close to $1,000 on her Discover card, causing the minimum payment to jump to $122/month with almost $100 of that being interest payments. I requested that she cancel the card, she said she would, then completely failed to do so. I tried to cancel it myself, but Discover would not do it as I am not the account holder. So I have done the next best thing using the online system, freeze the card and report the card as stolen.

When the new card arrives, I will be confiscating it to stop the spending, giving me a fighting chance of clearing that debt over a number of years paying the minimum payment and using tax refunds to significantly pay down the debt, with a plan to have it paid in 2 years. I took this action, because, the card was not canceled and another $80 of charges were added, which given that only $22 was credited after interest last month, the balance has increased by $58 and the minimum payment is now $139.

The charges made were recurring charges for her real estate career, for Supra Key and Keller Williams. Obviously, if my wife canceled the card as I requested she do, these charges would not have been added. My wife decided today that the real estate career is a non-starter, 3 years after that career started, we have spent three times more on fees than the income we have generated from the real estate venture.

My wife did stop spending on the Discover card, with the exception of the recurring charges, but spent around about $500 on the VISA card instead, outside of the usual $220 of charges and a $170 for a new health system my wife is trying. So the balance on that credit card is now $959.19, it had a zero balance on April 1, 2019, so the trip to Colorado is now in question, as the money I had set aside for that will be used to pay off the VISA credit card, leaving $2,000 in savings which are slated for repairs to my wife’s car.

I plan to go to my credit union, Meritrust and attempt to cancel the VISA credit card, to stop the spending of money we don’t have. Whether Meritrust will allow me to cancel on my own without my wife’s consent I don’t know. I want to cancel it because it’s a joint credit card and I’d rather not have my credit score dragged down when we inevitably default, as wifey seemingly is unable to live within our means.

We are losing hundreds of dollars every month because of the extortionate interest charges from various credit cards. Until I moved to America and got married, I had avoided credit cards like the plague. And I really wish that I had kept to that mentality, instead of going down the road of credit, even if it was initially supposed to be used as a buffer, to use in case of emergency, like unexpected bills and costs.

Update [Apr, 28 2019, 17:02]: Today, I check the online banking and what do I find, yup, another $96 spent on the VISA credit card. I tell her today what I plan to do; she asks if she can buy a burger, I check our account balance ($64.43) and say yes, instead she spends another $20 at the movie theater after dumping the kids with me. Do I need to just cut my losses in this relationship, separate our finances and let her manage her own money? It honestly feels like she is taking the piss out of me, she asks me what I want her to do, I tell her and she doesn’t do it, continuing the same reckless spending behavior.

Also, upon further inspection of the wife’s Discover statement, I find the actual balance increase is $219.23 because of the now, $119 interest charge + purchases – last month’s $217 payment I made.

Wife's Discover Statement, April 2019

I do love my wife, more than words can express, but when she is working against our best interests financially, and seemingly not taking what I say seriously, my thoughts veer towards not just separating our finances, but also our relationship. This constant financial stress is making me so unhappy, when it does not have to be this way, my wife needs to live within our means, I spend next to nothing on myself, maybe $15 on Pepsi and snacks per week, and only when we have disposable money in our checking.

3 thoughts on “ARGH! I’m Taking Control Of This Situation

  • Ben commented on April 28, 2019 at 03:31

    I think you’re doing the right thing and taking a hard line with your wife. If anything you’ve been quite understanding and patient. I know I would be furious at the lack of consideration given you’ve asked her to stop.
    If you’re not working as a team then something isn’t right.

  • Hey Ben, long time no speak, I didn’t think you still followed my blog. Thanks for the support, it has come to necessity at this point, I’m literally fighting for my family’s financial security, I don’t like to think how many thousands of dollars we have given away in interest charges over the past 4 – 5 years since taking out credit cards. I don’t mind structured purchases using store cards, interest-free credit for x amount of months, I can budget for that, but unstructured credit card spending I hate with a vengeance.

  • Matthew Lloyd commented on April 28, 2019 at 21:57

    I agree with both you and Ben.

    Me and the missis pool our money together and use it to make sure all bills are paid. Anything left over we then share on things we *want*.

    I hope you get it sorted.

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