A Mixed Bag Life Update XVII
Apparently, it’s been 15 months since my last life update, and suffice to say, it’s been a busy time; a lot has happened, and a lot more that I’ve forgotten has occurred since July 2024. I will try to remember as much as I can, but just for a change, there is no financial strife; we’re doing good financially, we’re covering our bills, paying down our debts, and have some spending money, so no moaning about money, or lack thereof, in this life update; which is a desirable change for us, and long may it continue.
Disrespectful Guest
Most recently, before the school summer break, we took in a girl, a friend of our daughter, whose name I will not mention, who was initially supposed to stay for only a few weeks. However, she stayed for 4½ months and had to be kicked out because her habits were causing a health issue in our daughter’s room. We have been noticing a lack of towels, plates, bowls, and silverware available to us. When I finally inspected their room, something I should have done sooner, I understood what was happening.
After evicting this girl, my daughter and I tackled her room, and what I found was disturbing. Plates, bowls, and silverware with food caked on them, which had gone moldy and attracted gnats, along with an ant infestation around a melted open ice cream container left on the windowsill. Multiple stains on the carpet were caused by drinks, food, and even a smoothie made with milk that had been spilled and left to stand. You can imagine how that smelled. We also found wet towels piled up on the floor, hidden under piles of trash. I have to take some of the blame; I should have been inspecting their room more frequently, but I hadn’t because I had been busy with other tasks, and I thought I could trust this girl, who is sixteen, about to turn seventeen, to respect her space and our home, but, clearly, I was wrong.
Our daughter finally opened up about what had been happening, telling me she felt pressured by this girl to keep it secret, even spending her allowance on food delivery for her. Whenever I knocked on their door, it would be just cracked open, so I couldn’t see inside, which should have been a red flag; our daughter was not generally like this. I feel awful about this situation and my lack of action sooner. My daughter was feeling down and trapped by the problem, and she is such a nice person; she didn’t want to get her friend in trouble. The change in my daughter was instant when she learned that this girl was not coming back. It was amazing; I could feel the relief from her, which made me feel awful knowing I had let this go on, believing I was “respecting their privacy”. Unfortunately, I am not able to roll back time.
I took my daughter shopping to buy her some organisation items, such as free-standing wire shelves and containers, to organise her arts and craft supplies. My daughter was even talking about doing her “projects”, which she had not had interest in while this girl was sharing her room. And seeing the state of the room, I can definitely understand. I feel like we have our daughter back since this girl’s departure. There is much more to this story, but this provides a good overview; this could have been a blog in itself.
Health Issues
Moving on to health issues, not mine, but my wife, Erin’s. She finally got approved for Medicare after 2 years of receiving disability, due to her chronic pain issues, which prevented her from working full-time. My income is irrelevant when it comes to Erin getting disability, which is a big reason why our financial situation has much improved. Anyway, because of now having Medicare and Medicaid, Erin was finally able to get an operation to install a pain pump to reduce the amount of pain she constantly experienced.
The pain pump has made a difference, not a magic bullet fix, but it has all but eliminated the underlying constant pain in her spine. Erin’s fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis are still present, so she still requires a concoction of medications to control the condition. One week after this operation, Erin had reconstructive surgery on her foot, finally correcting a birth defect of pronated feet, which had constantly caused her pain while walking, sometimes reducing her to crawling because of the condition.
Erin had the foot surgery back in mid-July, and honestly, it’s been frustrating for both of us. Initially, it was supposed to be six weeks of being in a cast, non-weight-bearing. After six weeks, the cast was removed, and it was found that Erin was not healing as fast as expected, which was blamed on her taking Cimzia, a rheumatoid arthritis medication, during the first six weeks of recovery. It was never communicated to us that she should stop taking the Cimzia for the first six weeks; it definitely was not mentioned to me. If they had told Erin before, I was able to go sit with her in the recovery room; there is no way she would have understood, as she was out of it for at least an hour while I was sitting with her, post-operation.
To cut a long story short, it’s now four months down the road. The doctor has said Erin can bear weight, but she is still mostly off her feet. I am still being a carer for her, having to get her food, take on all the general household duties, helping her get dressed, shower, although she, for the most part, just needed help in and out of the shower, and driving her to and from doctors’ appointments and work at least twice a week. I’m lucky to have an understanding employer, allowing me time to do these things. However, I do have to make up that time, so I find myself working 2 to 3 hours past my usual clock-off time, and even on weekends to catch up, which of course, I am happy willing to do for the flexibility afforded to me.
Of course, I am willing to do this because it’s my wife, and I love her, but it is very tough on me to work a full-time job, maintain the house, and care for her. If I have to deal with it again, which I likely will, as she still has to get her other foot corrected, I will willingly do so. But now we have a better idea of what we need to organize in advance to make this easier next time. We really feel like we went into this not knowing the full extent of how it would work. Very little was communicated to us, and what was communicated was incorrect. Being a carer for a loved one is one of the most demanding tasks a person can take on. Even before this, I was a carer for my wife, due to her chronic pain, but the outcome of this surgery has been tough on both Erin and me. This is not even the first time I had been a carer; I was a carer for my mother as well, who had badly ulcerated legs, and later had both legs amputated below the knee, but I was younger, not employed, but being paid by the state to be a carer, and in better health.
Car Issues
Over the past year, we have invested approximately $8,500 in car repairs. These include the air conditioning system, throttle body replacement, and multiple engine leaks, all costing around $5,000. The work was done at Rusky Eck Ford in Wichita in November 2024. Additionally, we had a check engine light, ABS, and traction control lights on, and we were told that it was all related to the bad throttle body. Although all the lights were off when starting the car, the ABS and traction control lights came back on within a mile of receiving the vehicle. So, I can only speculate that they cleared the codes, and it took a mile for the warning lights to come back on. Later, we found out it was just a bad wheel speed sensor.
Fast forward to mid-spring 2025, when Erin turned on her air conditioning for the first time, it emitted nothing but warm air, even though the temperature was set to 60°F. At this time, we didn’t have the money to get it looked at again. To be honest, we didn’t have the money when we spent another $3,500 either, but we needed a reliable car. Obviously, we did not return to Rusty Eck Ford after our experience, but what we learned made us even more determined to never go back or recommend Rusty Eck Ford
Eventually, after the check engine light returned, this time flashing, along with the persistent TCS/ABS lights, we had to at least get the car checked out. We decided on Yost Auto Service because my mother-in-law had used them and was happy with their service. The first round of repairs included another A/C fix, which was simply a recharge, along with some dye to check for a leak, noting that there was no refrigerant in the system. They replaced the wheel speed sensor and the injector wiring pigtails, stating they were bad. Yost noted that the engine oil was extremely low and mentioned they had to add 2 quarts just to perform the diagnosis, which was no big deal since they were also doing an oil change service.
Everything was good for about a week until the flashing check engine light returned, the car lost power, and we thought we had found another bad shop. So, I called Yost up, and they told me to bring the car back so they could have a look. To their credit, they stated that there was a bad injector and that, since they missed it in the diagnosis, they would cover the repair. This is what you might call good customer service, something that is not a guarantee today. Finding a good mechanic is not as easy as it once was.
Another month passed, and I noticed a squeaking and grinding noise while braking. Although the braking performance felt unchanged, I suspected the pads were very thin or metal-to-metal. The final straw was a puncture, so I went back to Yost, first to get the tire repaired and also to have them look at the brakes. The brakes were indeed metal-to-metal, and it was also discovered that both rear shocks, the right front control arm, and the left front outer tie rod were all bad. So I had the brake rotors, pads, shocks, control arm, and tie rod replaced. The car feels very different; the suspension parts made a significant difference.
My wife is not very attentive to how the car feels or sounds. I mean, heck, she drove five miles with the parking brake on before, stating there was a burning smell, I wonder why? lol. This is Erin’s car, and the only reason I’m driving it now is because of her foot surgery, and I am driving her around, but it just didn’t feel right. I’m no mechanic, but I can feel when something isn’t right, and I definitely don’t mess around with brakes. The car is sorted now, as sorted as a car with 212k miles on it can be.
I speculate that Rusty Eck Ford did not top off the engine with oil after $4,000 worth of engine work, leaving the engine dangerously low on oil. I figured that since it had just been serviced, they would have filled it with oil, so I didn’t think to check the dipstick post-service. Secondly, almost 3 months after Yost recharged the air conditioning, it’s still blowing ice-cold air with no signs of leaks. This makes us believe that Rusty Eck Ford did not refill the refrigerant in the system after replacing the condenser. Again, this is speculation, but there is no leak, so read into that what you will, but it doesn’t look good, given that an air conditioning system is a sealed system, and there are no leaks after three months!
Work Life
I have been given much more responsibility at work, including handling contracts and being consulted more about marketing strategies for each client, but I still have to consult my boss about expenditure. This approach, rather than being told what to do, makes me feel a little better about my value to the company. Previously, I felt somewhat underutilized and taken for granted, but now I feel like I am a more important cog in the machine. The company has taken on many more clients in the past 15 months, which has been more of a strain on me, especially given the extra load at home, as outlined in the health issues section.
I have received two good pay raises over the past 15 months, earning an extra $200 per bi-weekly paycheck, which amounts to an additional $5,200 annually. And, on top of this, I have received several $1,000 bonuses over this time period for successful lease-ups at new properties.
I do like the challenge of working in rental property marketing; it’s never the same challenge, and we never know how it’s going to go. Even in the same market, we can face very different challenges, and I have to develop a unique marketing plan for each property. There is no copy-and-paste strategy that works for all clients. But I like it this way; it keeps me on my toes and sharpens my skills.
Finally, a shout-out to my friend, James, otherwise known as Copper Ice, who has been there every Friday to listen to me rant and rave about my life and all its various challenges. Without him, I may have lost the plot and gone off the rails. Having someone to just be there and listen, in addition to giving advice, is priceless, and James has been my go-to person to vent my frustrations and generally talk crap with.